Wicked… Thursday: Trust

Well, yesterday didn’t entirely happen. I’ll elaborate a little and say that it was a bit of an interesting day made the more ‘interesting’ by Royal Mail’s descent into outright taunting. I’m not even kidding, going to the collection office and literally being shown my parcel on the other side of the glass and told that I can’t have it.

There. Are. No. Words…

Not that this really excuses my tardiness in putting something forward for Wicked Wednesday. I really like the prompt this week and, whilst I’m working on a sequel to the chastity-play story from last time, I wanted to do a bit of non-fiction blogging on the subject of trust.

I’m a kinky switch. Meaning (to anyone who’s only just stumbled on this blog… hi mum, it’s not what it looks like…) that I enjoy both dominant and submissive roles when it comes to play. This is something that a lot not kinky (and indeed kinky) people sometimes have a rough time getting their heads around. At best there’s a shrug of the shoulders and an “I don’t get it.”/”It’s not for me.” At worst it’s taken to mean that I’m secretly (shock horror) vanilla, or somehow haven’t made my mind up yet.

It’d be easy to go off on whole blog-posts on either side about how much fan is to be had from either perspective and how even the contrast itself can be an awesomely entertaining head-fuck. But I think the easier thing to do is focus on what stays the same.


Trust is always there, it is the lifeblood of not just any kinky relationship, but any healthy relationship full stop. I see kink play as a way of revelling in trust, of celebrating that you have connected with another person to the extent that you can trust them with your emotional and physical safety. And by contrast, it’s also a reflection that the other person trusts you. Put simply, a lot of what goes with kink play for me isn’t necessarily the play itself, it’s what it represents. What is often referred to as power play or power exchange I tend to think of as trust play.

“OK,” you may say, “That’s all well and good, but can’t you have that trust without all the rope and spanking and other accoutrements?” To which I guess the answer is yes, that is possible, I suppose. But I guess it’s a bit like saying that I can get to Edinburgh by coach just as well as I can by bi-plane… but one of them is a lot more fun, and means you get to wear goggles.

Trust: n, antonym: Royal mail.