Awakenings

Sexual awakenings can be a touchy subject. Mainly because it rarely falls in line with comfortable legal milestones like 16 or 18. Leading to situations where some websites have to explicitly tell people not to talk about it for their own legal protection.

Well I’m not writing this on there, and what’s the point of adhering to Bacchus’ first law if not for things like this, so here we go, anyone who doesn’t want to hear about a small fat boy with a stiffy, stop reading now.

The first inkling I got that I was ‘kinky’ was when, as a child, I read a history book about criminal punishment, torture and execution. The book was titled “Guilty” I’ve had a poke around on Amazon but, despite having a vivid recollection of the title and cover, can’t seem to find it. I read it, many times over, lying on my bed with a stiffy poking uncomfortably into my belly. I don’t think I could have told you then, and I’m even less sure I could tell you now, whether the excitement of reading this book was from a sense of “ooh, that looks like fun to do to someone else!” or from a sense of “wouldn’t it be terrible to have that done to me!” All I knew was that I liked it, and liked it more than maybe anyone else realised (I swear the school librarian eventually gave up on getting that particular title back).

This was in the pre-wanking days, that period of my development where I understood that sometimes my penis got hard, and this was by and large, a pleasant sensation. The notion of this going any further than that didn’t arise until I was well into my teenage years. However, looking back, that was probably the earliest thing I could point to where that mix of dread and fear and excitement first reared its head.