Let’s talk about penis baby

I want to talk about penis.

Not mine, (nobody wants to do that). I want to talk about the word penis. More precisely, I want to write the word penis, I want to write it a lot, but I can’t.

OK, yes I can write it… penis penis penis penis penis penis penis penis penis penis penis penis penis penis penis penis penis penis penis penis.

What I can’t do, or rather what I struggle to do, is to include it in sex scenes. It just doesn’t seem to fit (no pun intended). It’s like vagina, it’s a little too real, a little too medical, a little bit too much like an alien crash landed on earth and thought that writing erotica would be the best way to fund his Uranium mining operation to refuel his ship.

So what? There are plenty of other good, and not so good, words for it. dick, cock (my favourite) schlong, manhood, rod , shaft, chopper, willy, winkle, whopper, length, fullness, hardness, loch ness (monster).

The thing that annoys me is that I know it can be done. How do I know this, because one of the most respected literary erotica writers of all time Anais Nin uses it all the bloody time and when she does it, it’s fantastic. When she does it it isn’t a clunky mechanical or medical term, it’s simply minimalist, to the point, unembarrassed.

Reading one of her stories makes me want to crawl into my cave and get back to work on crystalising reactor control rods… I mean, have another cup of tea.