Machine Man

Yes I’ve titled a post after a Judas Priest song, what of it. It was either that or some reference to ‘remote control’ and, well, that leads me off down a very different kink path.

Anyway, to crowbar myself back on topic. There were many varied and interesting things that went on at Eroticon 2014. One of which was that I was handed a flyer, this one in fact by a chap from Alternate Press about their ‘esensual‘ books:

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It makes some pretty ballsy claims, ‘hands free’ orgasms, ‘intense multiple orgasms’ and bondage and sex that ‘feel real’.

It was accompanied by a link to a downloadable sample and, being an open-minded chap, I gave it a try.

The results were… interesting. I’d describe it as half and half relaxation tape and erotic audio. It opens with some nice gentle talk and relaxation techniques (breathing, counting etc), then slowly adds in descriptions of the narrator… doing things (in the sample it’s a massage followed by oral sex, but I understand that the company’s plan is to release a range of different scenarios… so will this include chimney sweep play, I can but hope.)

The language and tone of voice get more explicit towards the end of the piece and the steady shift in tone following the initial relaxation phase is certainly interesting. I would say ‘effective’ but I want to draw a distinction between what the flyer suggests and what I experienced. I gave it a few tries but no ‘hands free orgasms’. Close, but no cigar.

Does this mean my brain’s not wired the right way? Possibly. Certainly anything that uses words like ‘hypnosis’ or ‘suggestion’ tend to only work for some. (and there are whole theses to be written on the importance of expectation management for such things, but we’ll leave that hornets’ nest be for now).

What I will say is that this piece is very promising when compared with most audio erotica available. Actually I’d go so far as to say that heavily descriptive second person audio erotica is something that is pretty woefully underrepresented in the marketplace and something I would happily listen to more of.

Which just makes it a little disappointing that the titles avaialbel on their website seem to be hiding what’s actually in each piece behind two lengthy paragraphs that are still trying to sell me the idea of directed erotic visualisation… this is the equivalent of Amazon’s kindle store prefacing every blurb with a bit of text explaining how awesome owning an e-reader is.

As with so many things there’s something really quite good in here trying to get out, something I actually enjoyed and might even pay money for, but feels like it’s getting drowned out by the walls of text telling me how amazing it is.