Not Single But Solo


Relationship statuses can be, no, scratch that, are, a complete bloody minefield. OK some websites make it easier than others. I’m quite fond of the way the Fet-Life enables users to have not only multiple relationships, but also distinguishes between relationships and BDSM relationships. But, if anything, this makes it more difficult. Because if you’re not in a long-term and established relationship it’s all to easy to get sucked into a bizarre chess game of when you begin listing a relationship as existing.

For the most part I tend to dodge this question and simply list myself as “single” on most platforms, but this isn’t really true. Actually, scratch that again, that’s not true in the slightest.

I prefer the term solo as it sums up a very important aspect of my life, that my life (currently at least) exists separately from those of the person or people I’m involved with. When I come home it’s to my own flat and, whilst it may not always be the case, I’m not currently in the process of building a life with someone.

Does this mean that the people I am in relationships with aren’t as important to me, of course not. And the more I write this the more I’m coming to the conclusion that there’s more to this than any label can happily summarise. What am I?

It’s complicated.