Hard & Soft

“This is going to hurt,” I think.

I launch myself into the attack anyway, not wanting to embarrass myself in front of the others. My fist finds only empty air. Then the world whips around me and I’m on the floor, the flat thud ringing in my ears while my arm explodes in pain.

She stands over me for a second, then, seeing I’m ok, offers me a hand up.

“Like that,” she says, turning to address the room. I cradle my arm, carefully testing it’s movement. It’s fine, no damage, only pain, shimmering through my joints.

She turns back to me, drops into stance. I try not to wince as I do likewise and we repeat the process, slower, and with her pausing to explain the technique.

Later that evening I lie in bed, phone cluthed in my left hand typing slow, clumsy messages.

“I’m broken!”

“You say that every time”

“I mean it, sensei used me as her personal rag doll”

“Well I’d have thought that was right up your alley?”

“It’s different when you do it”

“How so?”

I want to type something about there not being a roomful of strangers watching, but I’m worried that it’ll just give her ideas.

“With you it’s not fighting, it’s different”

“Tell me more”

I realise that she might be typing one-handed too.

“With you I get to let the bad things happen. I can be scared, and excited and…”

I’m worried that I’m losing my point, trying to get too intellectual.

“Go on”

“But it’s ok, to be those things. I’m scared but I know it’ll be ok, that I can trust you, trust you to do things nobody else can”

She responds with an angel emoji and a smiling devil.

I type out a message, hesitate then send it.

“Please may I touch myself?”

Three dots drum like fingers on an armrest.

“No my dear, I think you need to rest that arm of yours.” I can feel her grinning at the other end of the line.

“Understood…” I cap the message with a frustrated face.

“Though now you mention it I think I’ll have one more orgasm before bed”

We say our goodnights and I roll over. Curling into a ball, my cock pressing against my belly, thinking of her, curling up in her own bed, vibrator between her thighs. Thinking of me?