Liminal

I am an empty vessel.

A muddle of self-imposed pressure and anxiety. Pushing myself to make the most of my time on this business-plus-pleasure trip, and realising day by day how much I miss the countless little bits of support I have when I’m home.

If nothing else, this trip has assured me that the cultural differences between Britain and Japan are broadly exaggerated. This isn’t stranger in a strange land syndrome.

Well, not quite. There are strangers, countless unfamiliar people. The same was once true of London, or indeed anywhere beyond the small village I grew up in. But now I don’t have the energy to reach out and form connections; and I certainly don’t have time.

It’s not quite loneliness. Actually by my standards I’ve done an impeccable job of socialising. Last night I was in a bar full of strangers, but I talked with people and they made me feel very welcome.

But even the best strangers are still exhausting, and I’m adrift in a sea of them for at least another couple of days…