Three’s a Crowd?

Pre scene negotiation can be interesting. It can be tricky, emotionally challenging and tedious, but it can also be really really hot. It’s like flirting, only more structured and with a real feeling of, oh my goodness, yes this thing is actually going to happen, yippee!

Figuring things out with three people is, well, even more complicated. I’ll admit I generally sit at the slightly more tedious end of the spectrum when it comes to scene negotiation (yes I have a spreadsheet, what of it?) But I really feel that situations with more than two people really do warrant more than a pure seat of the pants approach. Not least because it can avoid situations like:

  • One person not realising that a threesome is afoot and sitting awkwardly in a corner playing with their phone and wondering if they should quietly slip out.
  • Unexpected interruptions. Surprise impact play might not be great when you’re in the middle of a technical tie.
  • Confusion over who’s giving aftercare to whom. Nobody wants to feel cheated of cuddles, or be pushed into giving or receiving cuddles they don’t want.

Not that any of this need actually take much time. And yes there are countless instances where going with the flow, keeping eyes and ears peeled for nonverbal cues and leaving your ego at the door are all that’s needed to have a great time. But I’d argue that a brutally blunt conversation about limits, wants and expectations greatly improves the odds of avoiding accidental heartache.